7 Things About the Law of Attraction That Nobody Tells You
As much as I love the law of attraction, it took me a while to get the hang of it. It’s easy to understand how a lot of people get frustrated with manifesting and give up on it. Sure, we all get fantastic results at first but then they start to taper off and even go backward. This leads people to panic that maybe they’re doing it wrong. In turn, this creates anxiety and resistance, which only exacerbates the problem.
Through a lot of trial, error, and research, I realized something important. There is a LOT more to the law of attraction than the Ask Believe Receive model touted in a lot of books. Sure, those things are definitely important, but manifesting effectively goes much deeper.
#1: It’s ALWAYS working, even when you think it’s not
When people tell me that the law of attraction doesn’t work, I tell them “It’s ALWAYS working… it’s just that it’s not working FOR you right now”. The Universe is always reflecting back the vibration and the energy you are emitting. If you tell yourself you won’t be happy until you have The Thing, the universe will bring you more “not happy”, and more lack. The law also governs how ALL of your reality is created, not just what you’re focusing on right now. Your overall vibration in life affects what you attract and bring in. Sometimes a negative vibration in one element of your life can have a bleed through effect.
This is why we need to be emotionally aware and able to recognize how we’re feeling. Sometimes bad things happen and there is a powerful emotion that comes with that. The law of attraction doesn’t label any emotion as “good” or “bad”. However, it responds to what you make it MEAN. Therefore, by saying things like:
“I am feeling sad right now and it is okay.” “
I am feeling grief right now and I am moving through it with love and grace”
… you reflect back to the universe that you are at ease and you accept the emotions you’re feeling – and the Universe will reflect back ease and flow.
See the difference?
If you want to know more about how this works, see this article:
#2: You won’t nail it right away
I love the movie The Secret. I watch it all the time. However, I think one of the common misconceptions people took from it was that they could rush out and manifest something like a Ferrari. Then, even though they did all the steps the movie taught them, they had no Ferrari. And then they felt frustrated that they had no Ferrari. And then because the Universe got the vibration “car = frustration” they blew a radiator pump in the car they currently had.
Manifestation, like yoga or meditation or gratitude, is a practice.
It is not something you do once and expect miracles from.
It is a practice of ease, grace, flow, and oneness with the energy of the Universe and this takes time. You are always growing, developing and evolving. It doesn’t happen overnight.
It takes time to learn to create a vibration of ease and sustain it long term, even through the ebb and flow of the hard times in life. This is a holographic part of the principles of the law of attraction itself. The microcosm affects the macrocosm. What I mean by that is that the law of attraction is subject to itself. To be able to manifest, we must surrender to the universe and trust that our journey will unfold in divine time.
The truth is that many of us have belief systems and values that no longer serve us. These can often block our energy from flowing in co-creation with the Universe. These things take time and sometimes help to move through fully so that we can release them and move forward. They are their own journey.
It has taken me six years to manifest the wonderful things I have in my life now. Further, I am sure it will take more time to manifest my new goals and dreams. However, like a muscle, the more I exercise and practice, the stronger my conscious creation powers grow.
At first, you will feel like you need a lot of reassurance that this guff actually works. There will be a little voice in your head (The Ego) telling you that this is a bunch of woo-woo tree huggin’ hippy crap. This little voice doesn’t go away overnight and takes time to calm. The good news is that the more evidence you can gain that the law of attraction actually works, the more silent Ego will become.
Aim to manifest little things first, like cups of coffee or parking spaces or $0.50 on the street. Google law of attraction success stories. Go out scouting for evidence. In the meantime, start to get clear on your beliefs about the things that you want to manifest. Start to work through the limiting beliefs that you have, preferably with a trained coach who knows how to hone in on them with laser focus and bust them rapidly.
Whilst on the face of it the propaganda will have you believe that the law of attraction is something you can get up from the TV set and “do” in an instant, the truth of the matter is that it is much more complex to understand. It is in itself a spiritual development practice. Once you master it, however, you can achieve great miracles in your life.
#3 You can’t fake positive thinking – you have to work through the neggies first
“Think positive” and “#goodvibesonly” have become a bit of a disease. I say this because the terms imply that to be unhappy or to experience a “negative” emotion is wrong, or bad.
This is especially true when we hear that to make the law of attraction work we need to “feel good” all the time. It creates panic and therefore resistance when certain thoughts and emotions come up for us. What we think is the problem: the thought or the emotion, for example – is actually not the problem. The problem is the meaning that we assign to it.
It goes like this: we are doing well with our affirmations and our “positive thinking”. But then something happens like a personal tragedy, an injury or illness and all of a sudden, maintaining positive thinking in the face of grief and pain becomes almost impossible. And then we panic because grief and pain have been things that we have made to mean negative. In turn, we project negativity out into the universe and so the universe sends us more of that.
On the other side of the fence, we sometimes try to “stack” happy thoughts and positive thinking on top of our negative state.
Either way, trying to suppress real emotion because we make it mean that it is negative or bad keeps that emotion trapped in the subconscious where it affects our reality, whether consciously or not. Trying to block an emotion from rising to the surface and flowing through us in its natural course is actually a form of resistance: and what you resist persists.
There are no “good” or “bad” thoughts and there are no “good” or “bad” emotions. There are only those which move us closer to the vibration of our desires and those that move us further away and this depends largely on how we treat them, how we entertain them and how we let them pass us by without judgment.
It is important not to suppress any emotion but rather to be present with it and sit with it. Invite it in for tea and be kind to it. Allow it to move through you and do its thing in a healthy way and you will find that without resistance, it will tend not to stay as long anyway. Acknowledge the feeling’s presence. Say “I am feeling x and it is okay.” This creates ease around the emotion and guess what the Universe sends more of? More ease!
Be present with and flow through the painful emotions and know that they will pass.
#4: It’s all about the inner work
The law of attraction is not as simple as affirmations, vision boards or asking the Universe for it. The law of attraction works on the basis that like attracts like. When your energy is a match to the energy of the thing you desire, you will attract it into your life. It doesn’t matter how hard you work, how much time you invest or how beautiful your vision board is. If you are not a vibrational match for what you desire, if you have limiting beliefs, or come from a place of lack or desperation or need, it is not likely that you will manifest what you desire.
The outer circumstances of your life right now, by and large, are a reflection of your inner world. When your inner world is in alignment with your desire your outer world will shift. Once you clear away the limiting beliefs, subconscious blocks, and attachments to lack, there is nothing left but the source energy of the Universe.
Often we believe that if we do all the work on the surface the things we want will manifest. But in fact, sometimes trying too hard with lots of frenzied action can have the opposite effect. Much of the work we need to do to gain our desires comes from inside us, from connecting with our intuition and working through our limiting beliefs.
#5: However, the Universe won’t work until you do
Whilst the inner work is certainly a necessary component, Ryan Gosling won’t come knocking on your door tomorrow just because you asked the Universe for a soul mate and cleared away your limiting beliefs and subconscious blocks around love and then went and sat on the couch and binge-watched Netflix for three days straight.
Nothing will just get dropped on your doorstep. You DO have to take some action. The difference is the action that will lead you closer to your desires should come from a vibration of inspiration, joy, and playfulness. Those little intuitive nudges, following white rabbits and seizing random opportunities are often the things that can lead us closer to what we want, rather than going out and actively hunting them down.
#6: Divine Timing
Okay, now this one is especially hard in this world of instant gratification that we live in, but the law of attraction does not work instantaneously. If it did, every time we thought of a polar bear we would be faced with the difficulty of having one in our living room.
When you begin to work with the law of attraction more closely, you begin to become conscious of the fact that everything is subject to divine timing and will. When you ask for something, and you are a perfect vibrational match, the Universe will orchestrate a way to bring it to you at the perfect time that is for the highest good of all in accordance to its plan.
This may mean that you might not get it right away. You might have soul assignments or life lessons to learn before you can be ready – truly ready – to receive what you have asked for. The way in which it could come to you the fastest might be a way that is not for the highest good. It might even be at the detriment of someone else. Or, what you want might not necessarily be what is meant for you. Sometimes your Ego’s plans get in the way with God’s plans. There is a greater plan at work which will work out for the highest good. At the moment, your Ego’s immediate desires are kind of getting in the way.
This is where true surrender and acceptance come into play. Know that there is always a plan and trust it.
#7: Sometimes some really bad shit happens in your life and it’s NOT your fault
Sometimes, shit happens in life.
This was a hard one for me to learn. After years of being an extremely powerful manifestor, I had a few years where some pretty rotten stuff happened that was completely out of my control. It caused me to question all of my beliefs around everything to do with what happens when we die, life purpose, God, the Universe and the law of attraction.
How could I have created these horrible things? And worse, how could others who have met with tragedy have created what happened to them? These questions would keep me awake at night. For a while, I began to disbelieve what the law of attraction and my coaching training had taught me about 100% responsibility for my life.
But then I re-watched my training videos. I saw this awesome video from Will Smith and I delved a little deeper. Here’s what I learned about the concept of 100% responsibility:
There are some things in life that happen that are outside your control. They are not your fault. You did not do something horrible or make a hellish mistake somewhere along the line and create them. You did not bring them upon yourself.
This is a Universe with infinite possibilities occurring at any one time. Unfortunately, in such an infinite Universe, the pendulum swings both ways. Things happen for many different reasons, some of which have nothing to do with you at all, and many do. After all, the whole purpose of our life in this human form is to love, to learn, to give and to grow. We are the Universe experiencing itself as a human being. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. As part of that humanity, we have powerful lessons to learn and things to experience… and not all are pleasant.
These are lessons that have been chosen for our soul in this human incarnation and we don’t get to decide the how or the when or the what. It is not for us. Our job is to surrender and to trust the universe and find the lesson.
The Diary of an Empath puts it so beautifully. Think of manifesting as more like being the gardener of your life rather than the architect. In the garden of your life, there is a flow, an outline, a structure that is preordained. But your job is to tend to your garden. Pull out the weeds that don’t work for you. Sweep away the dead leaves that no longer serve you. Plant trees and flowers and take a few steps to make sure they grow. However, the rest is up to the Universe. Sometimes, the plants grow. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, they don’t.
Such are the things in life that we hope to bring to bear that never come to pass. Such are the disappointments, the trials, the hard things in life. You did what you could and it’s not your fault.
HOWEVER: you are 100% responsible for how you respond.
You don’t abandon your garden when it doesn’t grow. You don’t curse the universe for not providing enough sunlight or rain. The choice is yours: either let it discourage you or let it motivate you. You can either give up or find a way around. We are not to blame for the unpleasant things in life that happen to us… but we are 100% responsible for how we choose to respond, what we choose to make it mean and how we let it, or don’t let it affect who we are and what we stand for and how we choose to grow.
As Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother says:
“Even miracles take a little time.”
– Fairy Godmother, Cinderella
As wonderful as it would be if manifestation were as simple as Ask + Believe + Receive, there is a little more beneath the surface. Building manifestation mojo and momentum takes time, learning, and lots of weird and wonderful mistakes along the way, but the journey is worth it. As always, I’m here to help, so don’t be afraid to reach out.