Ego vs Manifestation: Decoded | How to Hack Your Subconscious Blocks

Image used under CC by Toa Heftiba via  (cropped)

Image used under CC by Toa Heftiba via (cropped)

Whether we were getting out of debt, trying to lose weight, find love, or advance in our careers, we have all had times where, no matter how hard we tried, something was holding us back, or we spectacularly got in our own way.

Have you ever put a new major purchase on your credit card even though it cost the amount you just worked three solid weeks of overtime to pay off?

Have you ever showed up to the gym every day for a week and then on the weekend just went on a sugar and fast food rampage, loading up your body with so much garbage that the next week you were too low in energy and even sick to move at all?

Or try this one on.  Have you ever heard there was a promotion coming up at work, one that you’ve been dreaming of for a while, and that you’re in line for and you just start hardcore dropping the ball at work, forgetting important things and wasting time on Facebook instead of working on priority projects?  (Bonus points if the boss caught you doing that.)

Have you ever found the perfect romantic partner and when everything seemed like a fairytale this inexplicable fear crept over you that they were going to break up with you so you got really intense and needy and started causing really stupid fights over things that didn’t even matter?

And every time something like this happens, you find yourself thinking “ugh, WHY did I do that?”  You know it was just so counterproductive and it isn’t even what you want, you don’t even know how or why you act this way, but it just kind of keeps happening.

And it’s so frustrating, because you’re trying so hard and just as you seem to be getting somewhere, something like this happens.  You’re doing really well and then it’s like things begin to unravel. It’s like there’s this force beyond your control that is sabotaging your every turn, keeping you stuck where you are and preventing you from getting ahead.

And even though you set goals, and you do the affirmations, and you spend all Sunday making a vision board, and you get on a health kick, and set new years resolutions and EOFYS resolutions and new moon intentions ... sooner or later, you end up back where you started.

And then you hear it.

A little voice that says:

“You see?  I knew this wouldn’t work.”

That little voice, boys and girls, is your Ego and it’s been low key running the show your entire life.

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The term “ego” gets used a lot to describe someone we perceive to be shallow, vain, self-absorbed, always right, proud or stubborn.

This definition is kind of a loose interpretation, or a surface level interpretation, of what our Ego actually is.

Let’s dive deeper.

The Ego is the shell of you, or who you believe you are: if you were to describe yourself, by and large, you would probably actually be describing your Ego.

The Ego is a construct of your mind, formed over time throughout your entire life, but predominantly between the ages of 0 to your mid twenties, based on data that you collected from absolutely everything you saw and experienced in that period.

From that information, you formed beliefs about yourself and the world around you that you believe to be 100% true and you use those beliefs to shape your sense of self and everything that you experience.

In summary, the Ego is simply your “I AM”.  It is the perception that you exist as an entity separate to any other entity in the Universe.

It is “I am me, and you are not me.  My dog is not me.  God is not me.  The stars are not me”.  It is what we use to differentiate what is important in our environment, what we do and do not identify with, and what we can ignore based on its relativity to us and our (conscious and subconscious) objectives.

How does it know what to filter? Ego operates at both the subconscious and conscious levels to filter reality through to you based on what you’ve learned is or is not significant, safe, dangerous, acceptable, or shameful throughout the course of your life.

At the subconscious level, your Ego is trying to keep you safe and protect you from harm.  It’s kind of like an overprotective helicopter parent.  I like to call mine my “Inner Smother” and she’s always in my ear worrying about shit.  I know she means well... she’s just really annoying.  She’s the one with the “what if” questions, the over-critical nitpicking, and the suggestions that I better “play it safe” in case I get hurt. 

But she does come in handy.  It’s the subconscious “Inner Smother” who remembers what is an actual threat to my wellbeing and survival and stores important information for functioning in the world: how to turn a doorknob, not to touch a hotplate, or stick a fork in a power point … things that it would get exhausting to try and remember consciously every single second.

Our Inner Smother used to have a lot of work to do when we were living in caves getting chased by sabre tooth tigers and discovering fire.  These days, not so much, so unfortunately for us, she’s found new things to worry about: which usually involve playing it safe in our lives and not daring to reach for greater things.

At a conscious level, the The Ego is your shell, the identity you have constructed that is the self that you think you should be.  This is where the things you are always praised for are amplified, the traits you think you should have are valued, you feel insecurity around what you perceive are shortcomings of traits you should have, and where you actively attempt to shun or dissociate from traits you have learned shame around.


Because your “I” i.e. your Ego perceives itself to be ‘everything’ (even though in reality it is but a blip of consciousness), it will do anything and everything it can to protect and preserve itself and all the subconscious beliefs it is made of.

This is why subconscious beliefs can be so tricky to shift: the Ego is designed to be robust and difficult to persuade and this is to ensure your survival.  It’s like countless mind maps connecting all the experiences, emotions, beliefs, thoughts, people, places, shame, trauma, sensory input you’ve ever experienced and these mind maps are all drawn one on top of the other, all interconnecting, with arrows crisscrossing each other in a million directions.

It can be very difficult and time consuming, at least on your own (with Ego itself steering the ship) to disentangle yourself from a belief that limits you and replace it with one that does.  You’re essentially working against a lifetime of forward motion in a particular direction. Beliefs around your identity i.e. beliefs that start with “I am” or “I am not” are particularly tricky for this reason.

BONUS TIP | Pay attention to the language you use to describe yourself, particularly when you begin a statement with “I am…” - it’s a clue to a belief you have about yourself. Is this an “I am” that supports your highest good?


Even though the phrase “thoughts create things” gets thrown around ad nauseum, what many of us don’t realize is that our subconscious beliefs are actually ALSO affecting our vibration at the most fundamental level.

As we discussed earlier, the subconscious beliefs we have act as a filter system in our minds: they tell our subconscious and conscious minds what to look for in each moment.  They help to direct our focus in any given situation, which in turn strongly influences our focus, our emotions, and our thoughts.  Over time, entrenched beliefs begin to form neural pathways: actual road maps in our brain linking like experiences, emotions, thoughts, and beliefs together.

When any given event happens, our subconscious is hard at work.  It’s assessing all of that information and through those predetermined core beliefs, it makes that event mean something.  Then we have a thought.  The thought triggers an emotion within us and based on that emotion we then act.

Now if we’re consistently not acting from a place of empowerment, not thinking from a place of empowerment and not feeling worthy, it acts as a vicious spiral because we’re not fulfilling our true potential and what this does is that it actually strengthens and reinforces the belief.

Therefore, when we align subconsciously with the reality we do want to see in our experience, meaning we reprogram Ego’s subconscious beliefs to ones which actually serve us, and we activate the process of reintegration toward our whole self, manifestation of the reality we dream of experiencing becomes the next natural step.

What this means is that from a place of energetic integration, keeping a high vibration through paying attention to our emotions, and consciously creating an environment of emotional resilience and harmony then becomes second nature.


When I need to rumble with my Ego, I stop viewing her as an overprotective “Smother” and instead view her as she really is:

I view her as my 4-year-old self:

  • An innocent little 4-year-old, who is completely in her own world.

  • An innocent little 4-year-old who doesn’t want anybody to be upset with her.

  • An innocent little 4-year-old who is terrified of everything and needs reassurance.

  • An innocent little 4-year-old who reacts with irrationality and tantrums when she is scared, uncertain, and out of her element.

This is what our Ego actually is.  She means well, she’s just really scared about what’s going to happen if it doesn’t work out.  She likes routine.  She likes structure and change just completely throws her whole little planet out of orbit.

When things are different, when I make changes, she needs reassurance that everything’s going to be okay.

So, rather than trying to suppress Ego, rather than trying to ignore her (which will only make her louder), or telling her to shut up, the best way to manage her is to acknowledge her.  Understand what she’s trying to tell you.  Get curious about what it is about the situation that triggers you.  Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you feel like you need to feel.  Honour the positive intention of the Ego (there is a positive intention behind every self sabotaging behaviour), and work to find ways you can meet that positive intention without compromising your goals.


What about manifestation being “Egotistical” or wanting things for material reasons?

You are living in a material world and you are a material girl, honey!

You deserve to have whatever you desire on the material plane! If Kim Kardashian can have it, if Beyonce can have it, if Oprah can have it, so can you! 

When we talk about manifesting being Egotistical what we really mean is:

  • We manifest because we think if we have it, it will “prove” our worth, validate us, or make us appear successful/good to others

  • We manifest because we think if we have it, someone will finally approve of us

  • We manifest because we think if we have it, it will fulfil us/complete us, fill a void

In other words, to manifest for exterior validation is an Ego-based validation.

So, if you’re manifesting something to earn the love/approval of your mother in law, for example, or to fit in with those really cliquey girls at work, that is manifesting from Ego. You don’t really want it at a soul level - you just feel like you “need” it in order to be worthy, in order to be liked, or in order to feel accepted.

You are either manifesting because you don’t feel whole and complete OR you’re trying to manifest a shift in someone else’s energy because you feel like without that you will never be whole and complete.  They are both different symptoms of the same problem.

Now if we do manifest from this energy, one of two things will happen.

Either (a) it’s a complete Aunt Clara (witch talk for it backfiring spectacularly) or (b) nothing happens at all and you just get tumbleweeds.

HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat around this.

If you want to be famous, date someone famous, drive a custom made gold Aston Martin db11, live in a Hollywood mansion, take a chopper to work every day, travel the world in a luxury yacht, have a walk in closet of designer label clothes and shoes … WHATEVER IT IS … because you feel truly, deeply called to experience it or to have it, and you feel deep in your soul this pull in a certain direction, that is manifesting from a deeper place.  When you’re in a space where you feel whole and complete AND ALSO wouldn’t it be uplifting and feel so aligned and magical to have this experience, to live this lifestyle, in this place, and you follow your passion and your desire and your calling because you feel like there’s an alternate reality where a version of you is living such a sexy fun life and this is how it looks, then by all means, manifest away.

We ALL have different metrics for what a sexy fun life looks like. Some of us want to live in a log cabin in a lush rainforest, be completely off grid, sit on our deck of an evening with a good book and listen to the birds. Some of us want to live in a beautiful hacienda style mansion in Malibu overlooking the beach, go to all the hot parties in Hollywood, and drive our Ferrari around town. Some of us wouldn’t have life any other way than it is now: just with a few little extras for more comfort. For some of us, the perfect holiday looks like a camping adventure in the wilderness with a sexy little Jeep and a wicked offroad camper trailer where we make a campfire, tune in to the rhythms of nature and reset our circadian cycles. For others, the perfect holiday is an uber-luxurious 5 star resort experience in Paris.

You are here on this earth at this time to experience the things you desire on the material plane – all of them.  You deserve to just as much as anybody else on this earth.  When you take care of and nurture your own passions and desires, it lights a wildfire in you that warms the heart of others and lights a fire in them to do the same.  The old saying is true: you cannot serve another from an empty cup.  The more you take care of yourself and your desires, the more freely you are able to give to others.


... And that, my beautiful friends, is a crash course in decoding your Ego.  We’ve talked about:

  • What Ego is

  • Where it comes from

  • Why it’s important from a manifestation perspective

  • And the basics on how to deal with it

If you want to dive even deeper, my 1:1 sessions are perfect for getting to know your Ego’s positive intention and integrating it with your authentic higher self so that you become an unstoppable force for manifesting everything you desire.  Let’s get on a Skype call and have a chat about it. Click here to discover more.


The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer

Sh#t Your Ego Says by James McRae

The Power of Vulnerability - Brene Brown

Why Do I Do That? Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Way they Shape Our Lives - Joseph Burgo PhD


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Is there something that seems to be holding you back from manifestation but you’re just not sure what it is? Do you take a bunch of action and then fail to follow through? If you’re self sabotaging, afraid to take action, or not sure why your vibration is not aligning even though you’re doing All the Right Things, you need to read this post: we deal with how your Ego (a collection of your subconscious beliefs) is low key pulling the strings and affecting your energy. Learn how to handle it and get your vibration back on track so you can manifest everything you want! #ego #manifestation #lawofattraction #selfsabotage #limitingbeliefs #personaldevelopment